If I could speak to my mental disorder...

If I could speak to my mental disorder, I would tell it that it had no control over me; that I am stronger than it; that everyone else is rooting for me; that I am not crazy and that I have overcome it once, I can do it again.

Daily, I need to remind myself that everything will be ok, that this bug that plagues me like a moth to light will not win. I also have to remind myself to take my emotions seriously; that I am not a baby or over-emotional like the stigma says. I need to remind myself to take it slowly, to breathe and to carry on. 

BuzzFeed created this following video for Mental Health Week 2015, it is inspiring to hear what others would say and to know that you are not alone.

A new chapter

Previously I have used this blog to talk about my religious experiences. For a while I've wanted to talk about mental health, but I was not sure how it would be perceived. This evening, after recovering from a depressive episode I came across this Facebook post by Amber Smith. This cemented my will to write about mental health. How is there still a stigma in 2016? I am tired of fighting it everyday on top of fighting the monster inside. Mental illness is no joke. So I will be writing more of my story and on topics surrounding mental health to help educate and inspire. #StoptheStigma

LOVE AND HATE

“In spite of everything, I still believe people are really good at heart.”

—Anne Frank, The Diary of Anne Frank

Despite of all the abuse I have endured, all the horrible things I have seen and heard, despite the state of our world, I still want to believe that underneath all the sin people are still good at heart. 

When people give into the temptations of sin they can do horrible things and really hurt those around them. I am sure we have all been hurt by someone really close to us and we have inevitably hurt someone we love. It is difficult to deal with when someone we love hurts us; and when we realise that we have hurt someone we love, we don't feel too great either. 

The bible gives us advice for dealing with those who hurt us and those we consider our enemies.

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one whostrikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

“If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

Luke 6:27 -38

We should not hate those who hate us, or whom we may call enemies, instead we should show them love. This is not being a coward; in fact showing them love will be of a greater influence than showing hatred towards them. It's easy to love those who love you, but anyone can do that. When we know Jesus, He gives us the love to love those who don't love us. We should love without expecting love back.

Life and Death

For Life and Death are one, even as the river and the sea are one - Khalil Gibran

For out of dust you were taken, for dust you are, and to dust you will return - Gen 3:19

Death is a strange thing, it is so linked to life, yet at the same time, so far from it. Often when death occurs, those who are left behind find their lives tossed around. No longer will the deceased be a part of their everyday lives, no longer will they be able to share life together, death has separated them. Everyone knows that death will occur, we will all die one day. The mystery is when, none of us know.

With the death of my Grandmother, I have rethought the meaning of life the real importance of it. I concluded that the most important thing in life is Love. Without love, we have nothing, we are nothing. When there is no love, there is no peace, there is anger and fear.

The most important love is loving God Almighty. If we are able to accept His unconditional love, we are able to love Him and others.

When we love others, our relationships flourish. Yes it is difficult, there are some people I find hard loving, but when I do show them love they brighten up and our relationship is strengthened. Showing hate is easier, but showing love is more worth while.

Life is short, we need to make the most of it; for ourselves, but also for those around us. We do not live in isolation, we have to interact with others. Showing love in our interactions is more worthwhile than harboring hate. 

Marcus J. Borg quotes

http://www.religionnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Marcus_Borg.jpeg

I have been reading up about Marcus J. Borg (1942-2015) lately,  an American New Testament scholar, theologian and author. He is a well known progressive Christian and has shaped Christian thought in many ways.  

Here are some great quotes from him that I have found inspiring:

“The Christian life is not about pleasing God the finger-shaker and judge. It is not about believing now or being good now for the sake of heaven later. It is about entering a relationship in the present that begins to change everything now. Spirituality is about this process: the opening of the heart to the God who is already here.” 

“The point is not that Jesus was a good guy who accepted everybody, and thus we should do the same (though that would be good). Rather, his teachings and behavior reflect an alternative social vision. Jesus was not talking about how to be good and how to behave within the framework of a domination system. He was a critic of the domination system itself.” 

“Christianity's goal is not escape from this world. It loves this world and seeks to change it for the better.” 

“When we read Paul, we are reading somebody else’s mail—and unless we know the situation being addressed, his letters can be quite opaque...It is wise to remember that when we are reading letters never intended for us, any problems of understanding are ours and not theirs.” 

“When tradition is thought to state the way things really are, it becomes the director and judge of our lives; we are, in effect, imprisoned by it. On the other hand, tradition can be understood as a pointer to that which is beyond tradition: the sacred. Then it functions not as a prison but as a lens.”

“Our images of God matter. Just as how we conceptualize God affects what we think the Christian life is about, so do our images of God.” 

“The book of Proverbs makes the same point: Those who oppress the poor insult their Maker, but those who are kind to the needy honor him. (14.31)” 

“Other prophets, other messiahs, came and went in Jesus’ day. Routinely, they died violently at the hands of the pagan enemy. Their movements either died with them, sometimes literally, or transformed themselves into a new movement around a new leader. Jesus’ movement did neither. Within days of his execution it found a new lease of life; within weeks it was announcing that he was indeed the messiah; within a year or two it was proclaiming him to pagans as their rightful Lord. How can a historian explain this astonishing transformation?” 

From: http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/22721.Marcus_J_Borg 

We all have a stage to step onto

To see Anna Clendening shine on stage after being bedridden by anxiety and depression disorder brings me to tears. What she did was no easy task. Yet she has shown that anxiety and depression disorder can be conquered!

I can relate to her story, I too suffer from anxiety and depression disorder. There have been low points and high points, it is an on going journey, each day is a new adventure. However, in many ways my diagnosis has been a blessing, I have learnt so much about myself and have been able to grow; it has strengthened my faith in God, at times he is all I can hold onto; I have been able to understand others and help them with similar struggles; and I have been able to create awareness.

"It felt like my mind gave up on me", Anna summed up what anxiety disorder feels like so well with these words. It feels like your rational side knows that there is nothing to be anxious about, yet your irrational side takes over making you fear something that is not there.

Anna Clendening has inspired me to carry on carrying on. Someone once told me, "If you don't have problems, you have a problem". Every day we are faced with new challanges, whether they be physically, mentally or emotionally, it's up to us, with the help of God, to step onto our stage each and every day. 

Your love, LORD reaches to the heavens. Your faithfulness to the skies.

Psalm 36:5

Big lessons I learnt in 2014 that I will be taking into 2015

- If you want something, you have to work hard for it.
- Don't have expectations of others, allow them to show you who they are.
- Give and don't expect anything in return.
- Show love, to EVERYONE.
- Everyone deserves a second chance, but that also means that have to prove themselves.
- Don't make excuses, just do things!
- Don't make excuses for others.
- Joy is a choice, it's something you have to make for yourself.
- The Gospel is so important.
- Don't question Star Wars 
- Make sure that everything you do is sustainable.
- Show more love!
- Show an interest in people, make them feel special.
- Be grateful, and show your gratitude.
- Make time to rest.

I'm not always successful in the execution of some of these, there is room for improvement in 2015